Weed is a black hole. It was my birthday last week. Last Friday. So, I finally found out that there was one club open for day dancing, and I went there, with my gay friend Federico, who told me having kids later in life was a pure nightmare. He knew a guy. Pure hell. My father is dying and getting robbed, a storm has built around him. Bums, losers, former state police from Czechoslovakia, a state that failed even at the failed thing of nationhood. My father has a wife, a leech, my mother, afraid, living fully for her fear, because she is no longer young and pretty. All of the horror, distilled, has walked into the dying years of my father through his wife. Matriarchy (hahahahahahahahahaha). Laugh all you want, here we're outta tears. When I was a kid I thought maybe I can blow my nose and blow all the snot, a lifetime of it, out, in one continuous blow. Instead I ran out of tears. Think of the dipshits watching the news. Back in the day I worked on climate change, at the United Nations. Hahaha. What do you do, on a Tuesday night? Used to be movie night, in Canada. Back when the..... The fun stopped.