Dear Readers: I'm making these dating profile blurbs public domain. Feel free to use any of them. They come from my thoughts and life, but you don't care, do you?
Describe yourself I’m really depressed at the moment, to be honest. I’m drinking a lot, and I’ve tried to moderate the drinking with cannabis and even psychedelic mushrooms. I think these things are helping because i tend to pass out faster in the evening, which prevents me from drinking more. Other than that, I’m kind of a mess. I lost my boyfriend 2 weeks ago. Yes, I messed up bigtime to lose him, but then he just dumped me. I mean like really dumped me. The kind of shit where you can text, email, call, facetime, whatever, and nothing in return. It’s like I don’t fucking exist anymore. I hate that. So don’t fucking do that to me—EVER—if I hook up with you. This will be the first thing I talk about with you when we meet, and if you say the wrong things or I think you’re lying, I’ll bust your fucking nuts right there, even if we’re out in public. So I’m cool. I like to party. I used to be into books and shit, but that’s a fucking waste of time, to be honest. So I don’t pretend I like shit just to impress you. I come as I am. Do you?
It's not that I will lie to you but I will undoubtedly say the wrong things so I will wear a cup if & when we first meet. Love your profile style, Julia.
What are you looking for? outside my window, down the parking lot, there's a kid with skinny legs and long hair pushing a shopping cart toward the building. if that's you, that's okay. if it's not, that's okay, too. because what matters is not your legs or your hair or your shopping cart or your lack thereof. it's the size of your fucking dick! haha. sorry, couldn't resist. it's just that eventually all of my boyfriends want to know how they measure up. so funny. i'm a poet. i don't notice those things. or maybe i do. depends on my kink. my last boyfriend wanted me to tell him in great detail about every single thing i did with my previous boyfriends or that they did with me. i almost got through all that i remember before we broke up. took me a while to get over him, too. i liked telling the stories. if you send me a message, be sure to include ignoprefence depravituregratitude so that i know you read this far. my girlfriend told me to say that. she thinks it matters if guys read that crap she writes. does it? i don't know.
